In short: Supporting someone with depression does not mean finding the perfect solution or forcing them to feel better. Listening without judgement, showing patience, staying connected, offering practical help and gently encouraging professional support can all be helpful. It is also important to protect your own wellbeing and recognise that you cannot be solely responsible for another person's recovery.

When someone you care about is experiencing depression, it can be difficult to know what to do or say.

You may wonder:

Should I give them space?
Should I encourage them to go out?
What if they do not want to talk?
How do I suggest therapy without making them feel judged?
What should I avoid saying?

This Mental Care guide explains how to provide compassionate support while respecting the person's needs and knowing when professional or urgent help may be necessary.

Does someone with depression need advice or support?

A person experiencing depression may already know that sleep, activity, routine and social connection can be helpful, but symptoms can make even simple tasks feel difficult.

Instead of immediately trying to solve the problem, begin with:

Listening.
Being patient.
Avoiding judgement.
Letting them know they are not alone.

Is someone you care about going through a difficult period?

If symptoms are persistent or affecting daily life, you can gently help them explore professional mental health support.

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How can you support someone with depression?

1. Listen without trying to fix everything

You may naturally want to give advice immediately.

However, sometimes the person first needs to feel heard.

You might say:

I'm here if you want to talk.
I'm listening.
It sounds like things have been really difficult.
You do not have to explain everything at once.

2. Stay present without forcing conversation

Being supportive does not mean making someone talk before they are ready.

You can let them know you are available while respecting their need for space.

For example: “I'm here with you. We don't have to talk right now.”

3. Avoid judging their emotions

Depression can already involve guilt, hopelessness or feeling like a burden.

Criticism or comparison may add to those feelings rather than helping.

4. Offer specific practical help

The question “Do you need anything?” can sometimes feel difficult to answer when someone has very little energy.

You might instead offer something specific:

Would you like me to come with you to the appointment?
Can I bring you something when I visit?
Would you like to take a short walk together?
Would you like help looking for a therapist?

Offer help, but try not to force it.

5. Encourage professional help gently

Rather than presenting therapy as a judgement, explain why you are concerned.

For example: “You've been carrying a lot recently. Speaking with a professional might help you understand what you're going through.”

What can you say to someone with depression?

You could say	Why it may help
I'm here if you want to talk.	Offers support without forcing conversation.
It sounds like this has been really difficult.	Acknowledges their experience.
You don't have to deal with everything alone.	Reminds them that support is available.
What would feel most helpful from me today?	Allows them to communicate their needs.
I can help you look for professional support if you'd like.	Offers practical help without taking control.

What should you avoid saying to someone with depression?

“Just snap out of it”

This can make depression sound like a failure of willpower.

A more supportive response may be: “I know you're trying, even when things feel difficult.”

“Other people have it worse”

Comparing suffering does not remove the person's distress and may make them feel guilty for struggling.

“Just think positively”

Depression cannot usually be resolved simply by choosing more positive thoughts.

Listening, support and appropriate treatment are more useful than reducing the problem to an attitude.

“You have everything. Why are you depressed?”

Someone can have a job, family, friends and other positive parts of life while still experiencing depression.

You may also read: Hidden Signs of Smiling Depression Others May Miss

“We're all depressed sometimes”

Sadness and stress are normal human experiences, but using depression to describe every difficult day may unintentionally minimise persistent symptoms.

You don't have to know all the answers

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is listen, remain available and help the person reach appropriate support when they are ready.

Read Mental Care's guide to dealing with depression

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Should you encourage them to go out or exercise?

You can gently invite someone to join you in a simple activity without treating it as a test of whether they are trying hard enough.

For example:

A short walk.
A simple meal together.
Sitting somewhere quiet.
A manageable activity they used to enjoy.

If they say no, try not to turn their refusal into an argument. You can offer again another time.

What if the person starts withdrawing from you?

Withdrawal can occur with depression and does not necessarily mean the person no longer cares about you.

A short message can maintain connection without pressure:

“You don't need to reply right now. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and I'm here.”

What if they talk about death or self-harm?

Take it seriously.

If someone talks about harming themselves, says they do not want to live, or appears to be in immediate danger:

Do not dismiss the statement.
Stay with them if it is safe for you to do so.
Seek urgent medical help or go to the nearest emergency department.
Involve a trusted family member or responsible adult when appropriate.

When there is immediate risk, safety is more important than keeping the conversation completely private.

How can you encourage someone to see a therapist?

Try breaking the process into smaller steps.

Help them explore the type of professional they may need.
Compare available specialists together.
Help them choose a convenient appointment.
If they ask, help them prepare questions for the first session.

Mental Care also has a guide on: How to Choose the Right Therapist

When are depression symptoms more concerning?

If the person is increasingly unable to manage everyday activities, symptoms are becoming significantly worse, or there are thoughts of death or self-harm, personal support alone may not be enough.

Read: When Do Depression Symptoms Become Serious?

How can you support them without neglecting yourself?

Caring for someone with depression can also be emotionally demanding.

Remember to:

Maintain your own sleep and routine where possible.
Stay connected to people who support you.
Be clear about what help you realistically can provide.
Avoid making yourself solely responsible for their recovery.
Seek support for yourself if the situation is significantly affecting your wellbeing.

Having boundaries does not mean that you do not care.

Frequently Asked Questions

How should I talk to someone with depression?

Approach the conversation calmly, ask how they are feeling, and listen without judgement or immediately trying to solve everything.

What can I say to someone who is depressed?

Simple statements such as “I'm here,” “I'm listening,” and “You do not have to go through this alone” can communicate support without pressure.

What should I avoid saying?

Avoid minimising the problem, comparing their experience with others, or suggesting that depression is simply a lack of willpower or positive thinking.

Should I give a person with depression space?

Respecting their need for space can be helpful, but you can still maintain gentle contact. If there is an immediate safety risk, do not leave them alone and seek urgent help.

How can I encourage someone to get professional help?

Explain your concern without judgement and offer practical help with finding a suitable professional or arranging an appointment.

When is depression an emergency?

If someone is at immediate risk, talks about harming themselves or others, or appears unable to stay safe, urgent medical assistance is needed.

You do not have to support them alone

If someone you care about is experiencing persistent depression symptoms, help them explore Mental Care doctors and mental health specialists and choose support that fits their needs.